I had a growing fear that I was alone when we all finally jumped into the bus to head off to our overnight in Minneapolis. In the weeks before boarding the bus I told all my mission peers that I was scared because I was going alone.

My mission team is great. They’d tell me that I'm not alone, saying, “but we’re going with you” or a “there is like 40 others coming with, you’re not going alone”. But the retorts were dissatisfying.

I’d often think to myself, "well that’s easy for you to say, your mom/dad are on the mission." This is my first in another country without my family. The fear burrowed itself deep in my heart, messing with my mind, causing me to lose sight of the purpose of the trip. 

While this feeling of abandon infested my heart, soul and mind, I was reminded of a chapel service at Hillcrest. Pastor Andrew Foss shared in a mid-October chapel that we are never alone. 

Andrew explained the story of Gideon. “I will never leave you,” was a phrase Andrew said early and often in his explanation of God's response to Gideon's fears. Andrew explained how Christ affirmed Gideon, that He will never leave his side in battle and in leadership. Andrew said this applied to us as well.  

I'm affirmed that no matter what I'm feeling, going through, or where I am, Christ is someone who will always be with me. It’s humanizing. We all have a sense of loneliness in us. Andrew Foss said, “He will never forsake you, no matter how alone you feel.” The Scriptures say that Gideon knew the Lord’s power and understood what God was calling him to do. At many times Gideon would question the Lord, but in reply the Lord would assure Him that as long as he fulfilled His commands He would always be with him.  

Boarding that bus, God assured me that I am alone, and that He will guide my every step and word in this mission. I have continually been praying that God will use me for His glory, and take me out of my comfort zone.

So, as we embark on this trip, I pray for safety, blessings, and thirsty hearts for a saving faith. My hands and feet are ready to serve as my Savior did on earth. Use me, Lord, and be with me.

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