Cheering Them In: How Dads at the Doors Helps Students Grow, Learn, and Belong
Smiles, high-fives, and fist bumps greet students at the lower school doors this week. They come from dads who are welcoming grade school students with “Good morning!” “Great to see you!” and “Have a great day!” The greeting is literally seconds long, but for a student walking into school, the message is much bigger. There are adults here who are glad the students showed up, and these adults are dads who believe this place matters. These dads are cheering for students before they students have accomplished anything. That is the heart behind Hillcrest's Dads at the Doors program that kicked off this week.
After this week's kickoff, fathers will return to the front doors monthly throughout the school year. On the surface, it is simple. Show up to stand at the door with a smile, a dad joke, a high five, and a word of encouragement. Decades of research on fathers, families, and education show that dads showing up is a big deal for kids.
Researchers have looked at many things related to father involvement with kids, but studies on what happens when dads are involved at school are especially compelling. One study aptly titled When Daddy Comes to School examined 3,570 children. Father-school involvement was positively associated with children's reading, mathematics, and teacher-rated approaches to learning. Even after researchers accounted for mothers' school involvement, the home learning environment, and demographic variables, father-school involvement still predicted better reading and math scores.
No study says that standing at a school entrance once a month automatically produces a better reader or raises a kid's math grade. That would dramatically overstate the evidence. But the larger pattern is worth taking notice of. When dads communicate through their time, attention, encouragement, and presence that school matters, kids receive that message, and one of the clearest ways a dad can communicate that something matters is to physically show up.
Beyond simply being at the door, the praise these dads share supports what psychologists call process praise. This encouragement focuses praise on effort, strategies, choices, persistence, and improvement rather than simply highlighting a child’s talent or smarts. When dads show up and say, “Great job being here today,” or “I’m glad you’re here. Proud of you for coming to school today,” it’s heard differently by kids, in a good way.
A dad at the door's voice can become one of the voices a child eventually carries inside to face a hard subject or a challenging situation. When something gets difficult, kids begin recalling what has been repeatedly said to them. That's part of what makes the front door such a meaningful place for Dads at the Doors. The students haven't earned anything yet. No papers have been handed back with grades on them, and no goals have been scored on the playground. No performances are completed, no awards are given, and no stars appear on a homework page yet. The dads are cheering students before achievement, and that matters. Students are welcomed to school before they perform, and from this place of relationship and belonging, students are invited to grow.
One of the most beautiful parts of Dads at the Doors is that many dads show up because their own child attends Hillcrest, but once they take their place at the door, they are welcoming everybody else's kid too. The second grader who runs through the doors, wondering where he belongs, might pretend he doesn't need encouragement, but he receives it all the same, and that student knows that part of Hillcrest's culture is that kids are welcomed and the dads are fully supportive. It’s a big deal made in a simple action.
Psalm 78 calls God's people to tell the coming generation about the works of the Lord so that children would ultimately “set their hope in God” (Psalm 78:7). Deuteronomy 6 gives an important picture: that truth should be taught in formal lessons, and also throughout ordinary life in things like sitting, walking, lying down, and rising. Kids often experience love and build confidence through accumulated moments of encouragement, and these moments this week are happening in the shadow of dads who came, noticed, listened, cheered, helped, and returned, again, and again, and again.